Election Fever

With the General Election approaching in the UK, WCC considers how the principles of the main political parties might inform England’s tactics in South Africa.

In the past The Labour Party aimed for a fair society based upon collectivist principles. Unfortunately human nature is rubbish so this meant that the state ended up dishing out money arbitrarily to lazy whingers – this eventually led to economic stagnation in the 1970s. After several years in the wilderness, New Labour under Tony Blair arrived in May 1997. They promised to banish dark clouds and misery through a Third Way that reconciled market forces with social justice. The weather hasn’t improved however and has arguably got worse. Tony bailed out as the decline continued, leaving a tough but less polished statesman, Michael Brown, to straddle the fair filly Great Britain as she careered into the prickly hedge of economic ruin.

What Capello can learn from Labour’s legacy: Collectivist systems unfortunately don’t work, as people are grasping and self-serving. Trying to reconcile collectivism with individualism probably won’t work either. Essentially, if people are involved in something then you’re doomed so hand over to Stuart Pearce after failing to win the first two group games.

The Conservative Party has usually aligned itself with limited government and the pragmatic aim of tempering the harsher elements of social existence. This changed in the 1980s with Margaret Thatcher’s neo-liberal project, which principally aimed to help people in Essex become rich. Thatcher shook up the country and turned us into a more affluent and confident nation – full of aggressive, selfish idiots. Things haven’t looked so rosy for them since she left, although John Major did run a dazzling “back to basics” campaign which redundantly endeavoured to re-instil traditional conservative values within a society which had been torn up by his predecessor. Cameron Jerome may lead them back to power, but conservatism and neo-liberalism are a tricky balancing act.

What Capello can learn from the Conservatives’ legacy: Laissez-faire policies may not be compatible with the preservation of traditional formations. Is it a standard 4-4-2, or a flexible 4-2-3-1 with Rooney and Gerrard interchanging?…oh, it’s too late, the US have just scored!

After 65 years of hurt due to the red-blue dichotomy, The Liberal Democrats outsider status could be to their advantage. They have traditionally occupied a nebulous central domain, offering a pick ‘n’ mix ethical alternative to Labour and the Conservatives. As they are unlikely to be elected, the Lib Dems can advocate nice friendly policies, as these won’t be subjected to the vicious rigours of the real world. For example, whist they aim for a fairer, more equal society, they think that free Higher Education for all would be lovely (so that rich kids can enjoy three years of binge-drinking at the expense of everyone else including poor people). However, as a result of their leader Nigel Clough’s presentation skills, they have become genuine contenders this year and could constitute part of a coalition government.

What Capello can learn from the Liberals’ legacy: David James is a nice idea, but calamitous when applied in practice.