Haircut 100

A key factor that indicates England’s difficulties when constructing a creative outfit which combines teamwork and individual expression is hairstyle. With very few exceptions (e.g. David Seaman, Chris Waddle, Owen Hargreaves) England players since records began have sported short, ‘generic bloke’ hairstyles. The current squad is populated by players who opt to conform to the ‘short back and sides so no one can call me a girl’ style of hair. When England lifted the World Cup in 1966 it is perhaps no surprise that the team comprised clean-cut, no-nonsense men with short hair. But that was 44 years ago. In an increasingly liberal country, more English players should have the courage to sprout a slightly wild hairdo.

Players on the continent don’t seem stifled by such conformity and are confident enough to let their hair grow longer than two inches. Players such as Czech Republic’s Patrik Berger, France’s Emannuel Petit and Italy’s current playmaker Andrea Pirlo are representatives of the flowing locks continental school of hair. These players look like sensitive artists exercising their craft, whereas England players look like estate agents.

The confidence to run around underneath more than standard cropped hair is not limited to the continent. South American players such as Uruguay’s Diego Forlan and Argentina’s Jonas Gutierrez also exercise their human right to Timotei-quality length and sheen. South America has a fine tradition of longer hair with Columbia’s Carlos Valderama the archetypal big-haired midfield maestro. The US seem to share some of England’s Anglo-Saxon pragmatism when it comes to hair, but they were still represented by the grunge cool of Alexi Lalas. This is a look replicated to some degree by Australia’s forward, Josh Kennedy.

Fitting in and standing out are a tricky balancing act. But until the England team can incorporate a few players who have the confidence to stand out a bit more, then the quarter-finals of the World Cup is as far as they can be expected to progress. Greater success requires the inclusion of players with shoulder length hair and/or an absurd mass of unruly curls. Jimmy Bullard presents one option to Fabio Capello – at least he looks like a milkman who plays in a cover band at the weekends.