Dr Dassie Rat has commissioned a detailed cross-cultural analysis of football crowd responses from around the globe. Audio responses from crowds were analysed by our teams of experts to establish collective emotional responses to key game incidents or factors. Data has now been collated and a distinct, statistically significant pattern has emerged: this demonstrates key differences between English fans and those from other nations in Europe.
If you can think of any other key differences between crowd responses in England and responses from elsewhere in the world, please feel free to let us know.
Prompt – Over the hill at best average midfielder only good for the odd free-kick and refusing to leave the England team alone warming up on the touchline.
English response – Loud cheers and beating of 3 lions emblem proclaiming he has to go to the World Cup
Rest of the World Response – Uncontrollable laughter
Think about it!
Controversial referring decision:
English response – chorus of boos followed by weeks of pointless moaning on phone in shows.
Continental response – Fireworks being set off, possible riots and match postpondment.
Goalkeeper prepares for long punt upfield:
English response – wwwwooooooaaaahhhhhhhh you fat b******
Continental response – N/A Goalkeeper strokes short pass to full back and maintains possession.